Ruby Flame

Ruby Flame




Vintage Fenton Ruby Flame Red Crest Cake Stand VGC
Vintage Fenton Ruby Flame Red Crest Cake Stand VGC
$549.95
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VINTAGE FENTON GLASS RUBY RED FLAME CREST MILK GLASS NAPPY 6in HEART SHAPED
VINTAGE FENTON GLASS RUBY RED FLAME CREST MILK GLASS NAPPY 6in HEART SHAPED
$29.99
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Vintage 1950 Retro Ruby Red Flame Swirl Floral 10 Long Stem Art Glass Vase
Vintage 1950 Retro Ruby Red Flame Swirl Floral 10 Long Stem Art Glass Vase
$37.59
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8 RUBY RED POMEGRANATE RIPPLED FLAME ART GLASS CHIMNEY VASE WHITEFRIARS
8 RUBY RED POMEGRANATE RIPPLED FLAME ART GLASS CHIMNEY VASE WHITEFRIARS
$129.00
Time Remaining: 28d 9h 3m
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Antique 1950 Frosted Ruby Red Retro 16 Flame Teardrop Long Stem Art Glass Vase
Antique 1950 Frosted Ruby Red Retro 16 Flame Teardrop Long Stem Art Glass Vase
$49.19
Time Remaining: 11d 15h 9m
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How to beat Ruby Weapon (Part:1)





Ruby Flame

Can you please edit my poem?

I'm entering a poetry contest about nature..i wanted to see if it was good?

Autumn Leaves

Watch their whimsical movement.
They sway and dance to unheard music,
creating an expression of
free
flowing
thought

and fierce color.

Listen closely, you can hear
their peaceful whispers,
their silky voices blending in
with the gentle sound of
the breeze.

As they tumble towards
the green below
they soar upwards
like ruby dragon flies taking off for flight,
a final attempt to unleash their
inner flame.

I never liked the word whimsical. It's too Martha Stewart.
I don't care for the use of simile in the last stanza.
I would do it this way (but it's just my style, not yours):

"they soar upwards,
ruby dragonflies taking flight,
to unleash their inner flame."

Maybe it's not unheard music, maybe only they hear it.

"they sway and dance to music only they can hear"
or
"they sway and dance to music we can't hear"

Maybe they aren't silky voices. Leaves have some other kind of voices to my mind. "rattly"? "crinkly"? If I could find the right adjectives to describe that sound I might use two or three of them.

Just a couple of suggestions. Now, why aren't you in school?!

Ruby Flame